In my 16 years of being a professor, one of my least liked phrases continues to show up.

“I need to pass this course.”

Or it’s variants, “I need you to help me pass this course” or “I have to pass this course.” Or my very favorite: “I must get an A.”

This is sometimes rooted in desperation and worries over remaining in a program or remaining eligible for tuition reimbursement. It’s often from students who have excelled historically and are having a tough term. Interestingly, I’ve never heard phrases like this from a student who reaches out as soon as they realize they need support. Rather, it is nearly always as we blaze towards the end of the term and panic sets in.

Students who take me up on the offer to meet, or at least email back and forth, and give me a chance to help will find me sympathetic and willing to do anything I can to help. I always do that in a context of considering (a) what I can reasonably do within policy, (b) could I reasonably offer this to every student in the class, and (c) can I reasonably support the effort as one professor of many students?

I’m hard pressed to think of a time I learned a student was not capable of the work. Rather the failing grades I see tend to come from a lack of responsibility or follow through. Or rampant AI use but that’s probably another post.

Here’s what I wish students would do: communicate.

I say that knowing that for some students, it’s intimidating to reach out to a professor. In my case, you don’t even have to come by my office and walk in (and if you do, we have other issues as I work from home…). Sending an email and asking for help can feel scary. Professors are wise to remember that and students are wise to do it anyway.

I hold students to fair, high standards and university policies. But I have never heard from a student with a plea for help that I couldn’t do something for, even if that’s just sympathize about what’s done and make a plan for what’s left.

The other thing students need to do in these cases is: clearly take responsibility.

In most cases, when I am told “I need to pass this course,” I am also told some version of “no one else has ever made me…” (fill in the blank). I have been told many versions of “this is actually your fault, professor.” Always news to me!

Students who are seeking guidance and exceptions and help should remember that professors are doing our best to hold them to program expectations, university policy, and the work of earning a degree.

I have been known to reply “I think you’re a lovely person, but I won’t lose my job for you.” Or “graduate school is meant to be hard.” Now, of course, I follow those statements up with an offer to connect via Zoom, an action plan for what can be done, resources for additional support, etc.

Teaching is hard work, especially right now in this rather demoralizing age of AI. And yet, I am committed to continuing to do my best and helping students do the same.

Bottom line advice for students in any program: reach out now, not later. Ask questions (we love that!). Use your university resources (we also love that!). Assume the best of your professors (I do not personally know any colleagues who would not try to help you with a reasonable plan). And take responsibility for your path — it does not always go like you planned, but there is nearly always a trail back to it. You may need help with the map or supplies but asking for help is the start to getting there.